They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
