so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
