it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You can't special order awesome
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
