He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Dicks are not precious.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
