people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Randomize