Dual....:-)
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
babies were throwing up all over the place
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
