You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Buhtt sex?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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