You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
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Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
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i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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