The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
i've created a new STD.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
