I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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