Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
