Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
