i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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