She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
