I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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