OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
