Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
