Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
