Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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