it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
