News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm just crazy horny about you
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
