You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
