How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
