Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
