2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize