We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
