OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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