I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
