I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
