Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
