I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
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She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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