my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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