Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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