let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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