At least make sure they are 18
Why
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
