you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
