Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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