Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
