Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
