You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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