your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
