You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
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