It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
soo... how was my night?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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