that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
