Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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