Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
