MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
