Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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