Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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