morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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