HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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