Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
whose parrot is this?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
