Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So many bounce houses so little time
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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