I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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