dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize