He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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