my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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