took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
