Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
