And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
and she was petting her beer can
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
