Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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