I've blown a few things in my day
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
