Don't make out with my wife yet
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
