I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
did you just send me my own nude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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