An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
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that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
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If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....