Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets

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  (281): i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets http://tfl.nu/eja8
  Replies (33) Good night (7571) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow

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  (609): Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow (802): Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow http://tfl.nu/mba8
  Replies (2) Good night (1237) Bad night (2788)
• Favorite

  (567): View more from Ohio

  you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.

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  (567): you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often. http://tfl.nu/8to5
  Replies (6) Good night (3314) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.

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  (352): she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property. http://tfl.nu/vsw9
  Replies (25) Good night (2262) Bad night (5723)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?

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  (817): One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night? http://tfl.nu/ookm
  Replies (2) Good night (2331) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.

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  (336): You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome. http://tfl.nu/fpao
  Replies (4) Good night (1808) Bad night (825)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Elaborate

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Strip Mario-Kart

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  (224): My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream. (312): Elaborate (224): Strip Mario-Kart http://tfl.nu/xw36
  Replies (11) Good night (2758) Bad night (781)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.

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  (410): I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it. http://tfl.nu/7121
  Replies (9) Good night (577) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.

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  (508): I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat. http://tfl.nu/wq7n
  Replies (3) Good night (821) Bad night (1053)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus

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  (540): why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus http://tfl.nu/csxp
  Replies (5) Good night (283) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'

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  (508): oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future' http://tfl.nu/w2au
  Replies (8) Good night (650) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.

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  (309): Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros. http://tfl.nu/cejf
  Replies (5) Good night (621) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?

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  (479): Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus? http://tfl.nu/0nek
  Replies (4) Good night (609) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese

  (818): View more from California

  They know nothing, John Stoned.

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  (323): My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese (818): They know nothing, John Stoned. http://tfl.nu/apa6
  Replies (2) Good night (849) Bad night (256)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public

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  (412): College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public http://tfl.nu/5mhd
  Replies (2) Good night (462) Bad night (312)

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