Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.

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  (310): If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels. http://tfl.nu/zmdk
  Replies (10) Good night (1069) Bad night (1523)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.

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  (616): Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted. http://tfl.nu/14wd
  Replies (17) Good night (656) Bad night (3907)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations

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  (216): Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations http://tfl.nu/f8qq
  Replies (18) Good night (5360) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.

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  (443): Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit. http://tfl.nu/7z3f
  Replies (20) Good night (3654) Bad night (858)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.

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  (804): Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses. http://tfl.nu/pr98
  Replies (11) Good night (6641) Bad night (1133)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.

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  (901): at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby. http://tfl.nu/xhbt
  Replies (8) Good night (902) Bad night (3280)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!

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  (307): Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!! http://tfl.nu/96d4
  Replies (25) Good night (3707) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.

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  (228): Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park. http://tfl.nu/g3vi
  Replies (11) Good night (1662) Bad night (1366)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure

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  (267): dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure http://tfl.nu/1m9t
  Replies (23) Good night (3720) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.

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  (734): If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend. http://tfl.nu/pm1j
  Replies (13) Good night (3114) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy

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  (407): She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy http://tfl.nu/3ht2
  Replies (16) Good night (2177) Bad night (1087)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.

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  (910): once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits. http://tfl.nu/8psa
  Replies (2) Good night (1239) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Our room will be decorated with my urine.

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  (434): Our room will be decorated with my urine. http://tfl.nu/12hg
  Replies (2) Good night (489) Bad night (1787)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats

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  (619): Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats http://tfl.nu/741y
  Replies (3) Good night (497) Bad night (256)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.

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  (810): I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style. http://tfl.nu/iivw
  Replies (6) Good night (740) Bad night (385)

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