giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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